yes, i am that cool

Unintentional self portrait.

You’re probably asking yourself, “How does she stay so hip?” I know my kids ask themselves that all the time. The secret to my success: mastering technology. Specifically, my cell phone.

Personally, it allows me to stay in touch, and in step, with family and friends. I remember my first text. It was to my daughter and said something along the lines of, “let me know when you need a ride home.” It took me an hour, and she almost fell out of her seat on the bus when she realized she’d gotten a text from her Mom. Coolest Mom ever! I’m sure that’s what she was thinking.

Professionally, my phone provides me with a lot of opportunities I might otherwise miss. Here’s a perfect example.

During a media trip last winter, I decided to try and walk in some snowshoe tracks up a hill to snap some photos, camera in one hand for high-resolution pics, iPhone in the other so that I could instantly share one of the photos. It’s important to note that I did not have on snowshoes; I was just trying to follow in someone else’s footsteps in the packed snow.

Capturing special moments takes a lot of practice.

I made it about four steps, at which point I sank up to my hips. Trying to pivot and get back to the trail, both arms raised in the air to protect my phone and camera, the inevitable happened. I fell down…hands still raised to save the expensive gadgets. The reporters were very impressed at this point. After managing to get upright, I placed my cell phone back in my jeans pocket, struggling to get it into the pocket under my ski pants. It’s important to layer in the mountains, you know.

We walked on the trail a bit, and I tried to shake out some snow that was stuck inside my ski pants. A few minutes later, I reached for my phone to snap another photo. It was not in my pocket. I started to run back to the spot where I’d fallen, when it occurred to me that perhaps it wasn’t snow that had been trapped in my ski pants. I stopped, leaned over a bit and shook my leg, then reached down and magically pulled the phone out of the bottom of my pants. Voila! I do know how to make an impression. I probably don’t want to know what that impression is.

Yes, I am that cool. The photo at the top of this post was snapped during this process. Unfortunately, this was not a singular occurrence.

Running away with the award for best sports photography.

Last May — crazed with details for our son’s graduation, a houseful of guests for the special occasion and a big client project — I broke the cover of my phone … twice, in a week. The first break was fairly innocent, at least for me. The phone was in my lap on top of an afghan. I stood up, shook out the afghan to fold it and threw the phone across the room. Bummer. $150 and two days later, I set the phone under the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, opened the cabinet and my deodorant fell right onto the face of the phone. Scott and I just stood there with our mouths hanging open, staring at the phone for a full minute. There were no words. This was about the time our house guests arrived, so he quietly put packing tape over the case to hold the glass in place. We didn’t speak of it for several days.

I’d like to put in a plug here for the folks at Micro Solutions in Glenwood Springs for not laughing out loud the second time I came in to have it repaired. At least they didn’t laugh in front of me. Another plug, this one for OtterBox cases; the kind man at Micro Solutions gently suggested that it might be prudent for him to put the phone in the case before I actually touched it. So far, so good.

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve lost my phone. My favorite was when I left it on the beach at Coronado Island. A sailor found it and mailed it back to me, a little sandy but still functional. My saving grace: As far as I know, I’ve never had a text appear on DamnYouAutocorrect.com.

I’ve included a few more photos to illustrate my prowess. Please let me know if you’d like to hire me for any special occasions. In the meantime, I’ll try not to lose my phone again.